The serious bit, reluctantly

Terms of Service

By buying from Cheap Cock, you agree to the following, which is mostly common sense dressed up in a collar.

The products: these are novelty items featuring roosters and wordplay. They are sold in good humour. They are not medical devices, legal advice, or a substitute for an actual personality, though they pair nicely with one.

Orders: when you place an order and pay, you're entering a binding agreement to purchase a made-to-order cock. We reserve the right to refuse or cancel an order — for example if something is mispriced by an embarrassing margin, or if Richard simply gets a bad feeling.

Pricing: prices are in US dollars. We try very hard to be accurate. If an obvious error slips through, we'll cancel and refund rather than honour a $2 wall clock.

Intellectual property: the designs, the names, and Richard's whole tortured persona belong to Cheap Cock. Enjoy them on your body and in your home; don't resell or reprint them as your own.

Conduct: use the site lawfully. Don't try to break it, defraud it, or use it to harass anyone. It's a cock store, not a weapon.

Liability: we stand behind our products, but to the extent the law allows, our liability is limited to what you paid for the item. We are not responsible for hurt feelings, raised eyebrows, or difficult conversations at family gatherings.

Questions? richard@cheapcock.com. Richard reads everything, eventually.